... the tide is turning
My name is Tennille and this is my story. 3 years ago I was living unhappily with my partner and 16 month old daughter. Domestic VIolence wasn't a huge issue between us but one particular fight escalated and my then partner hit me in front of my baby girl. It was then that I vowed I would not allow this to happen agian as I had grown up with witnessing my mum being belted by my stepfather. I left my partner and fell in love with a friend that I had made over the internet, Adam. We moved in together straight away and things were great. I shortly fell pregnant and things started to turn sour. Adam had begun drinking as I was refusing to move back down to Sydney with him. I eventually gave in as his drinking was progressing and he promised me that if we moved to Sydney to be closer to his family that he would stop. He didnt stop. Things got worse. I gave birth to a little boy and soon became pregnant again. Adam's depression worsened and the drinking increased more than ever. That is when he started getting physical. Whenever he as drunk he would take out all of his problems on me verbally and physically. I am the first to admit that i can be a bitch and my words can cut like a knife but surely i didnt deserve being hit and pushed around? I gave birth to another boy and we movd to Victoria to be closer to more of Adam's family member after him fighting with his family in Sydney. Things worsened yet again. Drinking increased fights were nastier. I left Adam at one stage and went to live with my Dad only to find that he was using speed and had people coming and going for drugs. I didnt feel comfortable there so I moved back with Adam. I felt i had no-where else to go. Not long after we re-united we moved up to the Gold Coast where I found out that I was pregnant yet again. Adam didnt drink for 2 weeks but soon started up again. I didnt want to leave as i knew what it was like growing up without a father and i didnt want my children to experience the same. Instead, they were being subjected to constant arguing. Whilst there was never any physical violence in front of the children, they did hear us bickering alot. One particular night when I was 3 months pregnant Adam became really bad and i left the house. I called police and in between the police showing up he had taken off with our 2 boys. The police were concerned as he had been drinking. They orgainsed for me to 'trap' Adam by arranging to meet him at a motel. It was the police there to meet him -not me. I then took myself and the kids to a refuge. It was a Friday night. Come Monday morning the Department of Child Safety showed up and took the kids from me. This was when i was at my lowest. I had lost my partner and now the only thing that meant anything to me - my children. It took 2 months of doing my best and organising a house to live in etc to get the kids back. Having the children on my own proved more difficult than i had imagined. I had 3 kids under 3 and a baby on the way. I soon weakened and invited Adam back into my life as he had spent the last 2 months in a rehab facility. Upon learning that i was re-united with Adam the Department took my children again and I have not had them since March 2007. They were all placed in a foster care home here on the Gold Coast. In April the foster carer decided she couldnt handle having 3 kids anymore so told she department that she no longer could care for them. The Department placed my eldest daughter with her drug dealing father in Toowoomba (his latet conviction was at the beginning of this year and the Dept are aware of it as they have his criminal history record). Yet they state that there is no "evidence" to suggest that he is still doing it. My 2 boys were placed in seperate homes until the beginning of last month where they were put together. I gave birth on the 11th of May to another baby boy and I have never had him home. They took him from the hospital. Adam and I attend personal psychologist appointments each week, along with domestic violence counselling, alcohol groups and relationship counselling. We are fighting to get our kids back. Adam has been sober for 7 months. We go to court in November to fight for our baby back.
- Tennille B. - Queensland
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