... the tide is turning
I have a 4 year old daughter, with my ex partner. In October, 2005, he took
her from me and wanted custody. He mind you is a heroin addict( I didnt find out
till it was too late). I got myself a solicitor, Legal Aid couldnt help me as
they were representing him. Through our solicitors, we had a mediation session
in which it was agreed my daughter would live with me. Anyway, 3 weeks went past
and he still had not signed the paperwork, so i said to my solicitor that i
would go to court to have it sorted out. Anyway, my solicitor withdrew from the
case 3 weeks prior it going to court. 2 reasons this happened....1st one being i
was earning $350 take home a week, i couldnt afford to pay him. 2nd, i was off
work for a number of weeks as the police had kicked in my front door, 1 week
before christmas and bashed me, they said DoCS had called and they said i was
going to hurt my daughter. I had not seen my daughter since October, due to my
ex using her as a pawn. I had no family support..nothing. Anyway, it went to
court without me, i did call the court and try to see if i could attend over the
phone, and i advised them why, i got the run around and his application before
the court was upheld, mine dismissed.
For the last 12 months or longer, he has done nothing but contravine the orders.
We sought legal advice, but were told as we lived in NT, and the orders were
made in NSW, I had to fight it in NSW and couldnt lodge contravention orders up
here. We had joint guardianship with my daughter to live with him.
For the last 12 months i have been making reports to DoCS about my daughters
care with her father, and this was advised by my old solicitor. April this year
they started an investigation on him, and i had no idea. May this year they call
me to say that they had an investigation, but due to staff shortages,and that my
daughter was voluntary placed in her paternal grandparents care they had to
close the case. I rang my ex to talk to my daughter, thinking that she wouldn't
be there, well she was there, he started to scream at me in front of her etc. We
rang DoCS back to advise that my daughter was back in his care, but they didnt
want to know, they wouldnt return my calls....nothing.
1 week after I got married in July this year, i got a phone call from DoCS. They
advised me that they had removed my daughter from her father's care with a
warrant. They went to the house to collect her but she was not there, but they
found holes in the walls, bongs and needles in full view. They found her the
next day in Sydney at his sisters house. His family had tried to block them
access to my daughter and had to have the police intervene.
That was on a Tuesday. On the Thursday night at 6pm my time( i am in Darwin)
They called to advise that it would be going to court the next day at 10am. They
faxed us all the paperwork and to my suprise, the reports that had been made
ablout my daughter were shocking, since April this year. Also the Paternal
grandparents made an agreement that if my daughter should return to her father,
they would advise right away. They didn't advise, they gave him back to her and
left the country. The reports that were made about him and the reason DoCS took
her was his drug use, not meeting her basic needs, not supervising her
correctly, voilence and my daughters own admision of sexual assult.
DoCS kept telling me and my husband that we had to fill out paperwork to be
authorised carers for my daughter...I asked them how is that when i am her
mother. They did'nt answer. We filled the papers out anyway, to be told as soon
as they got them back that the paternal grandparents will be assessed and we
wont be.
My daughter then got a new worker. He refuses to tell us anything...at all. We
asked that my daughter ring me 2 times a week, i was denied. She can ring 1 day
a week. When i asked about going down to have an access visit with her, they
didn't even acknoweledge that i asked the question. When we tried to find out
about the next court date all he would say was get legal advice or go to the
court. We found a solicitor who went to court for us on the 10th Aug for return
of subpenas, but she has told us to give up, as DoCS wont even acknoweledge me,
wont asses me and my daughters representative, wont let her leave the state and
now they are trying to say i have no bond with my daughter. Nobody has assessed
me to see if there is a bond with my daughter, nobody has seen me with my
daughter. I must have some bond if my 4 year old is crying to me on the phone
that she wants to come live with me, and she tells me ' mum i have cried for
you, i miss you". The only reason i have had no contact with her since Jan this
year is cos her father has stopped it. I flew down to have her for 2 days, we
got there and he was not contactable, he didnt ring me, nothing. Last week I was
to have contact with my daughter, she never called.She had been moved to a new
foster carer for a few days as her carerer was sick with the flu...I only found
this out as the carer rang me. Then today i was ment to get a phone call from
her..and it never came. Her carer rang me upset saying that they had taken my
daughter to her paternal grandparents as instructed and she was not sure if my
daughter would come back in to her care. When she told the worker that she was
to call me today, and if i knew about the changes, the DoCS worker said, she is
not important, i will call her tomorrow if i get time. I AM HER MOTHER!!!! Also
how can they place her with the paternal grandparents when she is under the care
of the minister, and a care plan still has not be brough to the court? The care
plan has to be given to the court by the 15th Oct. Is this not a breech of
something? We wrote a letter to the court, but they didn't order DoCS to assess
us either. The court was even advised about how the paternal grandparents,
placed her back at risk, and even stated that the only reason they seemed
concerend was because DoCS had intervened.
I am sickened to think that they think she is better of with her paternal
grandparents, the ones who told DoCS that they would protect her, only to hand
her back to her father, for her to be taken, and for my daughters representative
to say that she would be better in foster care so she can be near her other
family, instead of living with her mother. We have made a complaint to the NSW
Ombudsman, and the federal minister of famliles and heard nothing as yet.
I am angry and very frustrated, what sort of system is it when a mother who has
done no wrong has to pay to get her own child back?
I don't have $40,000, and thats what we were told it would cost, with a $10,000
up front fee. What avenues are there? Who can overturn the Children's Courts
decision?
DoCS need to pull their heads in. When you really need the help, they are not
there, but when you dont they screw you over. I would have expected them to go
well the mother wants her, the father is not a fit parent, give her to mum. Not
the case.
Sorry if it seems a bit out of whack or if it seems like i ahve skipped around,
i was just trying to get the whole picture so you could see where i was coming
from.
What rights do we have as parents? When DoCS is concerend, we have none. I hope
that one day DoCS fall on their assess and get a massive ass kicking or get the
guts sued out of them. The rules and Laws really need to be changed and the DoCS
workers need to pull their heads of of the bums, and take a look at the real
world and the lives they are destroying. And if they go to so many training
sessions what are they learning? How to tare families apart?
- Nicole - Northern Territory
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