... the tide is turning
Being removed from home has a massive impact on children, regardless of their age. How trauma of separation manifests itself depends on the age of the child and their stage of natural development.
Younger children, infants through to children of early school years, will exhibit a wide variety of common behaviours and health concerns. All of which are directly attributed to separation anxiety. Often behaviours can can commonly be seen across all age groups and are not exclusive to younger or older children.
Behaviours and symptoms in young children (aged from infant to 9 years) are...
|
Cognitive |
Emotional |
Behavioural |
Physical |
|
§ Disassociation and detachment § Startling easily § Lowered school marks § Unusual imaginative play § Memory problems § Lack of concentration § Distorted perception of self § Educational issues § Learning difficulties § Developmental issues § Fussiness § Hyper-vigilance § Excessive worry § Confusion § Feeling powerless § Intrusive thoughts and images § Over-protectiveness § Clumsiness
|
§ Nightmares § Disturbed sleep patterns § Anxiousness and anxiety § Unstable emotions § Clinginess § Lack of empathy § Shyness § Unusual phobias or fears § Excessive crying and irritability § Fear of sleeping alone § Avoidance § Fear of authority figures § Suffering flashbacks § Repetitive self-stimulation § Anxious in unknown environments § Anxious around strangers § Oversensitivity § Withdrawal § Difficulty being soothed
|
§ Bed wetting § Deliberate disobedience § Thumb sucking § Bullying § Refusal to communicate § Guilt and/or self-blame § Destructiveness § Fear of being left alone § Anger and combativeness § Defiance § Rebellion § Verbally abusive § Physically abusive § Regression § Re-enactment through play § Avoidance § Fear of the dark § Withdrawal from friends § Seeking solitude
|
§ Constantly recurring cold and flu symptoms § Loss of appetite § Dermatological skin conditions § Joint or limb pain § Nausea § Headache and dizziness § Developmental issues § Stomach aches § Restlessness § Irritated bowel
|
Behaviours and symptoms in older (aged from 10 to 18 years) children are...
|
Cognitive |
Emotional |
Behavioural |
Physical |
|
§ Disassociation and detachment § Lowered school marks § Memory problems § Lack of concentration § Poor judgment § Negative point of view § Trouble thinking clearly § Indecisiveness § Heightened reaction to stimuli § Helplessness § Repetitive questioning § Hyper-vigilance § Nervousness § Excessive risk-taking § Talk of retaliation
|
§ Nightmares § Disturbed sleep patterns § Anxiousness and anxiety § Unstable emotions § Lack of empathy § Unusual phobias or fears § Low self esteem § Sense of loneliness and isolation § Depression § Suicidal thoughts § Attention seeking § Demanding reassurance § Appearing dazed or trancelike § Obsessive compulsive § Anger and rage
|
§ Bed wetting § Deliberate disobedience § Bullying § Refusal to communicate § Guilt and/or self-blame § Acting out § Deliberate isolation § Sexual promiscuity § Substance abuse § Teeth grinding or jaw clenching § Regression § Rebellion § Verbally abusive § Physically abusive § Argumentativeness § Judgmental § Stubbornness § Repetitious play § Oppositional § Delinquency § Truancy
|
§ Constantly recurring cold and flu symptoms § Loss of appetite § Dermatological skin conditions § Self harming § Dermatological skin conditions § Headache and dizziness § Insomnia § Weigh loss or gain § Nervous habit (EG: nail biting) § Disrupted menstrual cycles § Shaking or shivering § Tic § Restlessness § Increase in conflict
|
Levels of Childhood Vulnerability to Trauma
There are 4 levels of childhood vulnerability to trauma...
Level 1... The child who has direct exposure to the traumatic event... The victim.
Level 2... The proximity of the child to the event resulting in them almost becoming a victim, but remaining a witness.
Level 3... The child who was within hearing or sight of the event, but did not witness it.
Level 4... The child who was outside the event, but has been exposed to the event via media or conversation.
Recognising the Five Stages of Grief
Trauma on children is a grief process.
Stage 1... Shock and Denial
Stage 2... Pain and Guilt
Stage 3... Anger and Bargaining
Stage 4... Depression
Stage 5... Acceptance
Recognising Grief and Trauma in the Foster Child
It is extremely important to acknowledge and identify trauma in the fostered child. Children do not enter into the foster home environment free of trauma. It is barbaric to assume that they would. Even the most severely abused child who has been placed into a foster home will be suffering separation anxiety due to their removal from the parent whom they still love despite the abuse and the trauma of being placed with complete strangers.
It is also important for parents to realise that when their child is finally reunified back into the family home, a certain degree of trauma will be exhibited by their child because that child has bonded with the foster family and is again being uprooted.
Having a new foster child in the family home will pose many challenges until the child feels safe enough and comfortable enough to settle into their new environment. Recognising that the child is traumatised plays a huge role in being able to support the child and help them work through their grief and succor them.
Upon a child entering foster care, immediate priority must be given to easing the trauma the child will be experiencing. Of course the child needs to be assured that they are in a safe environment and needs to feel loved and cared for, but if immediate emphasis is not placed on supporting and succoring the traumatised child failure to bond with the child is already beginning.
It is also important to distinguish between genuine trauma and a concern that may warrant a notification to DoCS. For example, when a new foster child comes into the home, it does not necessarily mean that the child is re-experiencing something that Mum or Dad did or said simply because the child is having nightmares... Such an event may actually be a nightmare caused by the child being removed from their family home. Or, if the child says that they are scared of a parent may actually be simply because said parent played monster games with them in fun and pretended to be the monster chasing the child in fun.
In-home Therapy For the Traumatised Foster Child
The best source of initial therapy for a traumatised foster child comes from the adult. Taking the time to sit and listen to the child if they feel they have something to say is extremely imperative. Listening to the child enhances the bonding process and reassures the child that the adult cares and is interested in what they have to say.
Encourage the child to talk freely without reprimand or judgment. Be prepared to hear the "gory details". An adult may not wish to hear certain things, but they must set their own wishes aside and listen to the child while they ventilate their worries or rehash a traumatic event. The ability to be an attentive listening ear encourages the child to "get it out" which in turn help to purge the trauma the child is suffering.
Ensure that the child has specific boundaries and stick to them. Boundaries are extremely important in a child's environment and development into a positive adult. The adult must put down a firm foot if necessary, as children will test the boundaries, especially those of adults whom they don't know.
Having age appropriate toys and activities available to the child is important. So is the ability of the adult to avail themselves to willingly participate in play and activities with the foster child. Quite often communication and understanding comes from play interaction.
Acquiring books to read with the younger fostered child is also an advantage in trauma therapy for the child. Some good book resources are as follows...
Art and craft is also another useful form of in-home therapy. Having craft supplies available and being prepared for lots of gooey mess is an excellent resource for a traumatised child. Allowing the child the freedom of expression and giving them the ability to create without judgment or criticism of the mess that may be made is wonderful therapy. Children and floors can always be washed. It's the therapy that is being obtained that is the priority.
Speech in a soothing tone is also important. Talking to the grieving child in a manner that is age appropriate with a soothing lilt to the voice and adding physical comfort (cuddles and caresses) not only helps ease the child's anxiety but nurtures the delicate bond.
Encourage the fostered child to grieve. Allowing them to feel their emotions and let them come forth is imperative to the recovery process and the giving of therapy. Letting the child know that it's OK to cry and that the feelings that they are having are normal feelings helps to promote a healthy sense of self within the child and encourages them to understand that what they feel doesn't make them any different to anybody else.
Refrain from discussion about the child, the events which caused them to be placed into foster care or conversation about the foster child's parents within earshot of the child. Even though a child may seem like they are engaged in their own activities or possibly sleeping, they are indeed listening to everything that is going on around them. Allowing the fostered child to overhear conversation that is about the cause of their trauma or their parent will damage a fragile bond and submerge the child into a further state of anxiety and trauma.
Beware the Pitfalls!
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
power4parents.org © 2008 | Graphics by RTBWizards.com